Listen to internet radio with Barbara Sher on Blog Talk Radio
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Resistance
I'm gathering up all the links to available Resistance teleclasses and podcasts I've done for my Frankfurt Coaching Class and putting them here. Whatever I find is, of course, available to everyone, so if you find yourself reading this and are interested in that most fascinating subject - Resistance - feel free to listen, too.
First, I'm going to make an attempt to embed. It's a first. I'm just curious. Here goes:
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Chef wants to go to Asian Orphanage to teach kids to cook
Just looking for a place to send people in the Twitter Idea Party (go to Twitter, search for #ideaparty) to show them that there's only one degree of separation. If you state your wish and your obstacle to enough people, someone will know the right person.
This is Freda. She used to run an orphanage and now has moved to a direct way of helping families in the Himalayas one by one. I sometimes run teleclasses to raise money for her project because she's the real McCoy: no administrative staff, no overhead, just her and her husband working their fingers to the bone. Come to think of it, I wonder if she has someone helping her with her emails? Like this one:
Hi All
Buy some Karma and donate to us today and really make a difference, this is not just some Charity it is a real organisation that works at the SHARP with real people changing real lives.
So many of you know about the work that we do and how difficult it is for us in the area that we work. During the last few weeks our own country has had dreadful incidences that many of us never thought possible. We are rebuilding trust and care in UK. I realise that it is difficult for us to think of others when there is so much going on in our own lives and country. I ask you though to just take a few minutes to THINK about how Hi-Cap UK have improved lives, we need your help to continue to do so.
What could you buy with £2? Not so much as a lipstick or a posh box of chocolates in these recession-laden times. But £2 per month is all that’s needed in the impoverished Himalayan regions of Nepal to lift a woman and her family out of grinding hardship.
You can change a life for the cost of a monthly cappuccino!
Many Himalayan mothers are left to fend for themselves because they have been abandoned by their husbands or he has died, which is very common due to the dangerous manual work undertaken by men in this mountain region. With no education and no health system in place, every day is a struggle for survival.
Regular funding is really important to us it helps us to plan our projects.
Therefore please go to our website where you can download a Standing Order Form which you can complete and give to your bank or it can be set on line. www.himalayanculturalconservation.org
OR
Even easier and it takes just few minutes to donate by text using:
Text HCAP11 £5 to 70070 to donate to Hi-Cap UK and make a difference today.
Freda Casagrande
Founder and Manager
Hi-Cap UK
07968524379
01206791591
www.himalayanculturalconservation.org
This is Freda. She used to run an orphanage and now has moved to a direct way of helping families in the Himalayas one by one. I sometimes run teleclasses to raise money for her project because she's the real McCoy: no administrative staff, no overhead, just her and her husband working their fingers to the bone. Come to think of it, I wonder if she has someone helping her with her emails? Like this one:
Hi All
Buy some Karma and donate to us today and really make a difference, this is not just some Charity it is a real organisation that works at the SHARP with real people changing real lives.
So many of you know about the work that we do and how difficult it is for us in the area that we work. During the last few weeks our own country has had dreadful incidences that many of us never thought possible. We are rebuilding trust and care in UK. I realise that it is difficult for us to think of others when there is so much going on in our own lives and country. I ask you though to just take a few minutes to THINK about how Hi-Cap UK have improved lives, we need your help to continue to do so.
What could you buy with £2? Not so much as a lipstick or a posh box of chocolates in these recession-laden times. But £2 per month is all that’s needed in the impoverished Himalayan regions of Nepal to lift a woman and her family out of grinding hardship.
You can change a life for the cost of a monthly cappuccino!
Many Himalayan mothers are left to fend for themselves because they have been abandoned by their husbands or he has died, which is very common due to the dangerous manual work undertaken by men in this mountain region. With no education and no health system in place, every day is a struggle for survival.
Regular funding is really important to us it helps us to plan our projects.
Therefore please go to our website where you can download a Standing Order Form which you can complete and give to your bank or it can be set on line. www.himalayanculturalconservation.org
OR
Even easier and it takes just few minutes to donate by text using:
Text HCAP11 £5 to 70070 to donate to Hi-Cap UK and make a difference today.
Freda Casagrande
Founder and Manager
Hi-Cap UK
07968524379
01206791591
www.himalayanculturalconservation.org
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Why people get hooked on being coaches:
Hello Everyone,
Remember Julia? My first client from our Master Class? In one of our calls she told me that her dream would be to work with X (a well-known internet tech company). She really admires the company and thought the culture looked amazing. Immediately after she told me, in the same breath, she said, ‘but that’s an impossible dream’.
I remember saying, ‘well, wait a minute, let’s take a look at that…if you say you want to work at X company, let’s look at what you would need to do to get a job with them.’ And we went to work.
Well, about 3 weeks ago Julia was offered a job with them!!! They're giving her a “trial” period so I’m not sure yet how it will turn out, but I just wanted to share this with you! I’m so excited for her!!!
Now I can see why people get hooked on being a coach…I LOVE the feeling of seeing a client’s dream come true!!! J
Brenda
Brenda Jasmin
DreamLauncher Coaching
www.brendajasmin.wordpress.com
MORE:
Someone just sent me these amazing quotes. I'm waiting to hear who said them:
A few years ago it struck me that one of the most powerful and validating feelings I had ever felt had come from helping others. Not in the traditional charitable sense of the word. Specifically, these were people in my life who I thought had amazing potential – and I believed I was helping them to realize their potential
...I come alive when I am working with the people who are using my tools, training them to do it better. But it’s not just anytime, it’s the moment when they have a shift and embody it. Suddenly, they know they can do it. I can see it in their bodies, hear it in their voices.
Remember Julia? My first client from our Master Class? In one of our calls she told me that her dream would be to work with X (a well-known internet tech company). She really admires the company and thought the culture looked amazing. Immediately after she told me, in the same breath, she said, ‘but that’s an impossible dream’.
I remember saying, ‘well, wait a minute, let’s take a look at that…if you say you want to work at X company, let’s look at what you would need to do to get a job with them.’ And we went to work.
Well, about 3 weeks ago Julia was offered a job with them!!! They're giving her a “trial” period so I’m not sure yet how it will turn out, but I just wanted to share this with you! I’m so excited for her!!!
Now I can see why people get hooked on being a coach…I LOVE the feeling of seeing a client’s dream come true!!! J
Brenda
Brenda Jasmin
DreamLauncher Coaching
www.brendajasmin.wordpress.com
MORE:
Someone just sent me these amazing quotes. I'm waiting to hear who said them:
A few years ago it struck me that one of the most powerful and validating feelings I had ever felt had come from helping others. Not in the traditional charitable sense of the word. Specifically, these were people in my life who I thought had amazing potential – and I believed I was helping them to realize their potential
...I come alive when I am working with the people who are using my tools, training them to do it better. But it’s not just anytime, it’s the moment when they have a shift and embody it. Suddenly, they know they can do it. I can see it in their bodies, hear it in their voices.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
DETAILS OF MY COACHING PROGRAM STARTING JUNE 25, 2012
Hi All
I knew I wrote this up, but I couldn't figure out for the life of me where it was. Then I found this information below by clicking a secret-looking button on the Frankfurter Ring page that describes my coaching program. I realize you might not have seen it because I didn't see it myself until today. So I'm putting it up here (and updating it).
This is where you'll find the most up to date description. (Tell me if you've seen them before. I'm curious to know who else missed them.)
I'll try to find the details in German as well but it's pretty clear that I don't have a great record for finding things.
It's all written in Brochure-Lingo (sorry about that - and I couldn't find the bullet points either, so I improvised) but maybe it will help you get a picture of what we're going to be doing this coming year in the coaching program. Each module includes some material from the interim periods between modules.
I think the course is almost full, latest I heard there are 9 spots open, and it's almost certainly the last time I'll run it, so read through and let me know in Comments if you want to be there, and/or have any questions.
BARBARA SHER COACH TRAINING 2011-2012
FRANKFURTER RING
http://www.frankfurter-ring.de/index.php?id=120
5 WEEKEND MODULES (10 Training days)
* Module 1: June 25 / 26, 2011
* Module 2: Sept.10 / 11, 2011
* Module 3: Dec.10 / 11, 2011
* Module 4: Feb. 11 / 12, 2012
* Module 5: April 21 / 22, 2012
4 INTERIM STUDY SEGMENTS
ONLINE PRIVATE DISCUSSION FORUM
DETAILS:
BARBARA SHER COACHING TRAINING
GOALS FOR MY STUDENTS
* develop your existing talent and expertise as a coach
* add to your repertoire of communication skills
* receive individualized strength and needs assessment
* gain practice in new techniques and expert feedback
* augment your empathy and problem-solving abilities
* experience hands-on use of innovative techniques with volunteer clients
* successfully market yourself without soliciting, using today‘s technologies
* learn one-to-one and group face-to-face coaching, as well as telephone, live video, subscription site and email coaching
* create interactive conference call classes and your own online courses
THE LEARNING WILL COME IN MANY FORMS
* attend 5 face-to-face, interactive weekend-long modules
* see and analyze video sessions of my work with clients
* read case studies and learn new techniques from my books
* provide in-person and/or telephone sessions to volunteer clients
* review and exchange session transcripts with fellow students
* share your experiences with fellow students
* get guidance from skilled coaches and teaching assistants on a private forum
* participate in individual and group peer counseling
I‘ll be personally working with all students.
CONTENT OF MODULES
MODULE ONE: You and your Clients
- Finding the source of your drive
- Assessing your existing experience
- Discovering why (and in which ways) you are already an expert
- Identifying your strengths
- Developing new skills
- Learning best practices and new processes
- Listening with focus, knowing what to ask
- Identifying client’s obstacles
- Knowing what to say and when to say it
Hands-on practice begins in Interim One. Volunteer clients are provided.
Overview of the four stages of coaching your clients:
First, Find the goal - identify what your client wants, how to uncover and recognize the real wish.
Second, Wish and Obstacle Analysis - differentiate between real and imaginary obstacles, how to defuse imaginary ones and overcome real ones.
(Materials provided: Idea Parties, the rules of brainstorming, Barbara Sher's Idea Book, Discover Your Dream Workbook w/ CD)
Third, How to plan in reverse: create action steps that work back from the goal to something you can do right now; expecting and understanding resistance, knowing and naming feelings.
Fourth, Setting up the support structure and accountability: working with a coach as the foundation of success.
MODULE TWO: Motivation, Feelings, Identity, Influences
- Discussion of interim readings
- Analysis of client sessions and reports
- Assignment of best practices
- Finding client’s motivational system
- Forms of resistance, levels of solutions
- Identity, cultural and family influences, birth order issues
- The true sources of drive
- Perfectionism and critics
- When indecision is a decision
- Why a chronic problem is usually the solution to a worse problem
- Subconscious defense mechanisms
- Locating 'Forbiddens‘
- The 3 stages of excitement, their purposes, how to use each
MODULE THREE: Working with Clients
- Cues, clues, next steps
- Analysis of your recordings and my full-length sessions with clients
- In-person vs. distance sessions with clients
- Lowering stress, expanding client's comfort zones
- Review of previous exercises
- New Processes: The Oracle, The Self-Correcting Scenario, The Temporary-Permanent Commitment, Jet Clarity, Role Play, How Others See You, Gather Your Allies, Finding Your Gifts
- How to design your own exercises
MODULE FOUR: Becoming Known
- Establishing expertise, building client base
- Introduction to social media
- Virtual workshops
- The importance of your blog and commenting on others' blogs
- Where to find solutions: Idea Parties, the Internet, my bulletin board
- How to find your best clients: speaking vs. online
- Introduction to designing workshops
- New, easier marketing methods
- Your first telephone class
- Recording and evaluating your in-person, telephone and video sessions
- Forum discussions with coaches and student coaches
- Marketing for coaches who hate marketing
MODULE FIVE: Earning Income as a Coach
- Getting clients
- Building a good mailing list
- Creating online radio or TV shows
- Producing and running workshops
- How to find your right people
- Using unpaid speaking to paying clients
- Building your mailing list
- Using Facebook and/or your blog to let people know who you are
- eBooks
- The helping professions, avoiding burnout
REQUIRED READING:
My books in English and German:
Wishcraft
Live the Life You Love
I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was
It's Only Too Late If You Don't Start Now (in English only)
Refuse To Choose;
Discover Your Dream Kit w/CD (provided as free download to students)
Barbara Sher's Idea Book (provided as free download to students)
Handouts
http://www.frankfurter-ring.de/index.php?id=120
TEL. 069 - 51 15 55
I knew I wrote this up, but I couldn't figure out for the life of me where it was. Then I found this information below by clicking a secret-looking button on the Frankfurter Ring page that describes my coaching program. I realize you might not have seen it because I didn't see it myself until today. So I'm putting it up here (and updating it).
This is where you'll find the most up to date description. (Tell me if you've seen them before. I'm curious to know who else missed them.)
I'll try to find the details in German as well but it's pretty clear that I don't have a great record for finding things.
It's all written in Brochure-Lingo (sorry about that - and I couldn't find the bullet points either, so I improvised) but maybe it will help you get a picture of what we're going to be doing this coming year in the coaching program. Each module includes some material from the interim periods between modules.
I think the course is almost full, latest I heard there are 9 spots open, and it's almost certainly the last time I'll run it, so read through and let me know in Comments if you want to be there, and/or have any questions.
BARBARA SHER COACH TRAINING 2011-2012
FRANKFURTER RING
http://www.frankfurter-ring.de/index.php?id=120
5 WEEKEND MODULES (10 Training days)
* Module 1: June 25 / 26, 2011
* Module 2: Sept.10 / 11, 2011
* Module 3: Dec.10 / 11, 2011
* Module 4: Feb. 11 / 12, 2012
* Module 5: April 21 / 22, 2012
4 INTERIM STUDY SEGMENTS
ONLINE PRIVATE DISCUSSION FORUM
DETAILS:
BARBARA SHER COACHING TRAINING
GOALS FOR MY STUDENTS
* develop your existing talent and expertise as a coach
* add to your repertoire of communication skills
* receive individualized strength and needs assessment
* gain practice in new techniques and expert feedback
* augment your empathy and problem-solving abilities
* experience hands-on use of innovative techniques with volunteer clients
* successfully market yourself without soliciting, using today‘s technologies
* learn one-to-one and group face-to-face coaching, as well as telephone, live video, subscription site and email coaching
* create interactive conference call classes and your own online courses
THE LEARNING WILL COME IN MANY FORMS
* attend 5 face-to-face, interactive weekend-long modules
* see and analyze video sessions of my work with clients
* read case studies and learn new techniques from my books
* provide in-person and/or telephone sessions to volunteer clients
* review and exchange session transcripts with fellow students
* share your experiences with fellow students
* get guidance from skilled coaches and teaching assistants on a private forum
* participate in individual and group peer counseling
I‘ll be personally working with all students.
CONTENT OF MODULES
MODULE ONE: You and your Clients
- Finding the source of your drive
- Assessing your existing experience
- Discovering why (and in which ways) you are already an expert
- Identifying your strengths
- Developing new skills
- Learning best practices and new processes
- Listening with focus, knowing what to ask
- Identifying client’s obstacles
- Knowing what to say and when to say it
Hands-on practice begins in Interim One. Volunteer clients are provided.
Overview of the four stages of coaching your clients:
First, Find the goal - identify what your client wants, how to uncover and recognize the real wish.
Second, Wish and Obstacle Analysis - differentiate between real and imaginary obstacles, how to defuse imaginary ones and overcome real ones.
(Materials provided: Idea Parties, the rules of brainstorming, Barbara Sher's Idea Book, Discover Your Dream Workbook w/ CD)
Third, How to plan in reverse: create action steps that work back from the goal to something you can do right now; expecting and understanding resistance, knowing and naming feelings.
Fourth, Setting up the support structure and accountability: working with a coach as the foundation of success.
MODULE TWO: Motivation, Feelings, Identity, Influences
- Discussion of interim readings
- Analysis of client sessions and reports
- Assignment of best practices
- Finding client’s motivational system
- Forms of resistance, levels of solutions
- Identity, cultural and family influences, birth order issues
- The true sources of drive
- Perfectionism and critics
- When indecision is a decision
- Why a chronic problem is usually the solution to a worse problem
- Subconscious defense mechanisms
- Locating 'Forbiddens‘
- The 3 stages of excitement, their purposes, how to use each
MODULE THREE: Working with Clients
- Cues, clues, next steps
- Analysis of your recordings and my full-length sessions with clients
- In-person vs. distance sessions with clients
- Lowering stress, expanding client's comfort zones
- Review of previous exercises
- New Processes: The Oracle, The Self-Correcting Scenario, The Temporary-Permanent Commitment, Jet Clarity, Role Play, How Others See You, Gather Your Allies, Finding Your Gifts
- How to design your own exercises
MODULE FOUR: Becoming Known
- Establishing expertise, building client base
- Introduction to social media
- Virtual workshops
- The importance of your blog and commenting on others' blogs
- Where to find solutions: Idea Parties, the Internet, my bulletin board
- How to find your best clients: speaking vs. online
- Introduction to designing workshops
- New, easier marketing methods
- Your first telephone class
- Recording and evaluating your in-person, telephone and video sessions
- Forum discussions with coaches and student coaches
- Marketing for coaches who hate marketing
MODULE FIVE: Earning Income as a Coach
- Getting clients
- Building a good mailing list
- Creating online radio or TV shows
- Producing and running workshops
- How to find your right people
- Using unpaid speaking to paying clients
- Building your mailing list
- Using Facebook and/or your blog to let people know who you are
- eBooks
- The helping professions, avoiding burnout
REQUIRED READING:
My books in English and German:
Wishcraft
Live the Life You Love
I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was
It's Only Too Late If You Don't Start Now (in English only)
Refuse To Choose;
Discover Your Dream Kit w/CD (provided as free download to students)
Barbara Sher's Idea Book (provided as free download to students)
Handouts
http://www.frankfurter-ring.de/index.php?id=120
TEL. 069 - 51 15 55
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
MARCH 26, 2011 NEWSLETTER
Here's a copy of my latest newsletter for everyone who signed up on my mailing list and thought they'd get it automatically. (Still haven't put that one in place, but we will!!)
Barbara Sher's Newsletter
March 26, 2011
Hi All
Having some fun the last few days trying out a new idea on Facebook and the results are so good I'm going to tell you about it so you can join (in a day or two when I have someplace for you to sign up).
Here's what happened: In our last teleclass, one of my WriteSpeak students told us about someone who held 500 (well, sort of) 20-minute telephone sessions for anyone who called to talk about (I think) feeling confident.
What a great idea! The best part was that he used some kind of scheduling program where people scheduled themselves. That sounds a lot like easy and I love easy! So I huddled and pow-wowed with my brain trust son in the kitchen and he liked it, started rolling out the webcams. Here's what I came up with:
"Find Your Wish in 20 Minutes." And I put it up on Facebook to see if anyone cared.
Within 4 seconds I had about 10 messages: saying 'Me, please!'
Here's the thing. Through the years of doing 1000's (yes, I mean that) of private sessions, usually one-time only, I saw that most of the people came in thinking they didn't know what they wanted. 'Hi,' I'd say. 'What can I do for you?' and they'd say, 'I have no idea what I want to do with my life.' It was amazingly common. But they did know, of course. Most of the time we found it in minutes and spent the rest of the time figuring out how to make it happen.
When I started doing big workshops I was used to it. I'd open with it: "How many of you think you don't know what you want?" (About 70-75% of the audience raised their hands). "How many of you know what you want but think it's impossible?" (same number of hands raised.) "And how many of you want so many things you can't decide which one to choose?" and about 65% of the hands in the audience went up.
Now, I'm not great at math, but it seemed to me that most people raised their hands for all the questions. They didn't know what they wanted, they did know but it was impossible, and a lot of them wanted too many things and couldn't choose.
In the big workshops it was just as easy to figure out what people wanted. I'd ask a handful to stand up and say their wish and obstacle and they'd say they didn't know what they wanted. A few questions and answers back and forth and they did. So why do so many people think they don't know what they want when they clearly do know? Most of the time it's they just are so sure they can't get it, they just forget about it and try to find a substitute.
Bad decision. You can't want what you don't want.
The heart doesn't negotiate. It's like a tuning fork and it knows which tone is right. Your desires are getting their orders from your genes. That means you don't decide what you want, you discover it. Of course, once you discover it, if you don't want to be a fussy, fretful person, and if you do want to know why you're on this planet -- then you have to do it. (That also might stop some of us from admitting what we want, but more about that in a minute.)
So two days ago, I asked the person in my class if she could tell me the name of that appointment scheduling program the guy who did 500 sessions used, and she did, and I thought that while we set it up, I'd run two impromptu evenings by announcing it on Facebook. I wanted to be sure I still have my timing. I got on Skype (and sometimes the telephone) for two evenings, did 10 sessions with those Facebook people who showed up so fast, and it was totally jolly. I loved it. They loved it too.
I changed the name of the process to 'Find Your Wish in 20 Minutes (or Less)' because, sure enough, it was mostly taking about 10 minutes. Good thing, because the tech troubles ate up the other 10 anyway.
Now I'm in the mood. So I'm setting up my Snoopy stand and I invite you to step right up and Find Your Wish in 20 Minutes (or Less).
In spite of cruel technology problems, we captured about 6 minutes of the last session. It will give you an idea.
And then my brain trust and I will huddle around the kitchen table setting up that appointment thingie, and then come up with dates that are open (really soon, a few days from now). And then, if you'd like to play, you can come in and set up your own time.
I didn't charge for the tryouts -- and the connections were so lousy I feel I owe them money. But I'll charge a small amount for the next ones. Most of the money is going to the Himalayan Orphanage http://www.himalayanculturalconservation.org/index.html I try to help.
It's just that I want to talk to the people who need the answer to 'What do I want?' and 'What do I do now?' and 'What am I supposed be when I grow up?' at least enough to spend 20 bucks on it.
I promised I'd let you know when the fancy automated pick your own appointment whatsis starts to work, and it has. So send me an email and I'll tell you how to get there. (Clue: It all starts when Paypal gets its $20.)
PLEASE NOTE: If it feels truly urgent that you get a session, and if you're one of those polite people who follows the rules and winds up at the end of the line after all the sandwiches are gone, then hit reply right now and tell me you want your 20 minutes and I'll tell you what to do next.
After you know what you want (and I have to hear a smile in your voice before I believe you found the right thing), we'll take the next step -- how to get it.
But I hope you'll take a little time to enjoy being unstuck. It's a great feeling.
Here are your audio tips. (Dear blog readers: to hear those tips, go to http://www.geniuspress.com and you'll see the signs.
Warm regards,
Barbara Sher
ANNOUNCEMENTS
The April 23-28, 2011 the Scanner Retreat in France is full, but I'm starting a waiting list. Write me an mail if you'd like to be on the list.
The Frankfurt Weekend has room for you. Information here:
http://www.frankfurter-ring.de/index.php?id=117
(eve lecture Apr 15th)
http://www.frankfurter-ring.de/index.php?id=118
(workshop Apr 16th/17th)
http://www.frankfurter-ring.de/index.php?id=120
(B. Sher Coaching Training)
Thank you for subscribing to my newsletter. I hope you'll join me on Facebook and Twitter!
Barbara Sher's Newsletter
March 26, 2011
Hi All
Having some fun the last few days trying out a new idea on Facebook and the results are so good I'm going to tell you about it so you can join (in a day or two when I have someplace for you to sign up).
Here's what happened: In our last teleclass, one of my WriteSpeak students told us about someone who held 500 (well, sort of) 20-minute telephone sessions for anyone who called to talk about (I think) feeling confident.
What a great idea! The best part was that he used some kind of scheduling program where people scheduled themselves. That sounds a lot like easy and I love easy! So I huddled and pow-wowed with my brain trust son in the kitchen and he liked it, started rolling out the webcams. Here's what I came up with:
"Find Your Wish in 20 Minutes." And I put it up on Facebook to see if anyone cared.
Within 4 seconds I had about 10 messages: saying 'Me, please!'
Here's the thing. Through the years of doing 1000's (yes, I mean that) of private sessions, usually one-time only, I saw that most of the people came in thinking they didn't know what they wanted. 'Hi,' I'd say. 'What can I do for you?' and they'd say, 'I have no idea what I want to do with my life.' It was amazingly common. But they did know, of course. Most of the time we found it in minutes and spent the rest of the time figuring out how to make it happen.
When I started doing big workshops I was used to it. I'd open with it: "How many of you think you don't know what you want?" (About 70-75% of the audience raised their hands). "How many of you know what you want but think it's impossible?" (same number of hands raised.) "And how many of you want so many things you can't decide which one to choose?" and about 65% of the hands in the audience went up.
Now, I'm not great at math, but it seemed to me that most people raised their hands for all the questions. They didn't know what they wanted, they did know but it was impossible, and a lot of them wanted too many things and couldn't choose.
In the big workshops it was just as easy to figure out what people wanted. I'd ask a handful to stand up and say their wish and obstacle and they'd say they didn't know what they wanted. A few questions and answers back and forth and they did. So why do so many people think they don't know what they want when they clearly do know? Most of the time it's they just are so sure they can't get it, they just forget about it and try to find a substitute.
Bad decision. You can't want what you don't want.
The heart doesn't negotiate. It's like a tuning fork and it knows which tone is right. Your desires are getting their orders from your genes. That means you don't decide what you want, you discover it. Of course, once you discover it, if you don't want to be a fussy, fretful person, and if you do want to know why you're on this planet -- then you have to do it. (That also might stop some of us from admitting what we want, but more about that in a minute.)
So two days ago, I asked the person in my class if she could tell me the name of that appointment scheduling program the guy who did 500 sessions used, and she did, and I thought that while we set it up, I'd run two impromptu evenings by announcing it on Facebook. I wanted to be sure I still have my timing. I got on Skype (and sometimes the telephone) for two evenings, did 10 sessions with those Facebook people who showed up so fast, and it was totally jolly. I loved it. They loved it too.
I changed the name of the process to 'Find Your Wish in 20 Minutes (or Less)' because, sure enough, it was mostly taking about 10 minutes. Good thing, because the tech troubles ate up the other 10 anyway.
Now I'm in the mood. So I'm setting up my Snoopy stand and I invite you to step right up and Find Your Wish in 20 Minutes (or Less).
In spite of cruel technology problems, we captured about 6 minutes of the last session. It will give you an idea.
And then my brain trust and I will huddle around the kitchen table setting up that appointment thingie, and then come up with dates that are open (really soon, a few days from now). And then, if you'd like to play, you can come in and set up your own time.
I didn't charge for the tryouts -- and the connections were so lousy I feel I owe them money. But I'll charge a small amount for the next ones. Most of the money is going to the Himalayan Orphanage http://www.himalayanculturalconservation.org/index.html I try to help.
It's just that I want to talk to the people who need the answer to 'What do I want?' and 'What do I do now?' and 'What am I supposed be when I grow up?' at least enough to spend 20 bucks on it.
I promised I'd let you know when the fancy automated pick your own appointment whatsis starts to work, and it has. So send me an email and I'll tell you how to get there. (Clue: It all starts when Paypal gets its $20.)
PLEASE NOTE: If it feels truly urgent that you get a session, and if you're one of those polite people who follows the rules and winds up at the end of the line after all the sandwiches are gone, then hit reply right now and tell me you want your 20 minutes and I'll tell you what to do next.
After you know what you want (and I have to hear a smile in your voice before I believe you found the right thing), we'll take the next step -- how to get it.
But I hope you'll take a little time to enjoy being unstuck. It's a great feeling.
Here are your audio tips. (Dear blog readers: to hear those tips, go to http://www.geniuspress.com and you'll see the signs.
Warm regards,
Barbara Sher
ANNOUNCEMENTS
The April 23-28, 2011 the Scanner Retreat in France is full, but I'm starting a waiting list. Write me an mail if you'd like to be on the list.
The Frankfurt Weekend has room for you. Information here:
http://www.frankfurter-ring.de/index.php?id=117
(eve lecture Apr 15th)
http://www.frankfurter-ring.de/index.php?id=118
(workshop Apr 16th/17th)
http://www.frankfurter-ring.de/index.php?id=120
(B. Sher Coaching Training)
Thank you for subscribing to my newsletter. I hope you'll join me on Facebook and Twitter!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Why you must do what you love, no kidding.
Just in case you're not on my mailing list and didn't see this issue, here is...
Barbara Sher's Newsletter
March 9, 2011
Hi Friends,
If you haven't seen this video of mine on YouTube, I'd like you look at it now:
[Naw, they won't let me.]
[I'm not sure it's working. I'm getting alarming warnings. So head over to YouTube, search for Barbara Sher, and watch "What you love is what you are gifted at"
(Here's the rest of the newsletter:)
Barbara Sher: What You Love is What You Are Gifted At
The video is a little dark and not very fancy, but you can hear every word, it's under 2 minutes, and I'm not selling anything.
Today I was looking through some of the audios and videos I've saved from past workshops and retreats, looking for anything related to this subject because finding what you love, and finding a way to do it is the subject of the first month of a membership site I'm putting together, hopefully to launch a month or two down the road. (Maybe three.)
While I was checking the sound quality, I started listening to the words and realized that you should look at it, too. I know you've heard me say "You must do what you love," before, and I don't like to be repetitive, but I know too well that we all forget.
I won't rewrite the words on the video. Just go there. You won't hear one word about how you should treat yourself well, make yourself happy, put yourself first. It's not about that. It's about a debt you owe to the rest of us. Figuring out what you love is about the only way you're ever going to discover what you were born to do. When you enjoy doing something, that's nature trying to tell you who you are and what you're supposed to be doing.
And don't give me a hard time because you love doing too many things. You know where I stand on that one. If you don't, read Refuse to Choose aka: What Do I Do When I Want To Do Everything. Or head over to Genius Press and listen to the podcast. Or give yourself a treat and sign up while a few spaces are still open for what is probably my last Scanner Retreat. It's in France from April 23-28, 2011.
That's all I wanted to say. I know what I'm doing here: I'm here to get you to remember what you love, and to find practical ways for you to do it. How do I know what I'm doing here? Well, I've figured out what drive really is, and where it comes from, and how unique it is to each one of us. And I've seen over and over how it always answers that age-old question: What am I supposed to be doing on this planet? What will really satisfy and continue to interest me?
But that's for face-to-face and in-person as the grads of my retreats and workshops will tell you. I need to see you so I can ask questions and find out who you are. That's way too important for a quotable sentence or a newsletter sound bite.
But I'll tell you this much: drive isn't what they tell you. It's not something you decide to have if you've got enough character. You can't choose to have drive, and you don't have to. It's there. You just need to learn how to find it. Not so easy to do on your own. But this much you should know: it uses your gifts, the things you love and dream about. That's where you start and that's why going after your dream isn't an option, it's a responsibility. But gifts are only the vehicle. Drive itself is the fuel, and once you find that, you never ever run out of it.
That's why you must start by going after your dream. But, you've heard that before, right? What if you have too many obstacles? I happen to believe obstacles are mostly real, but I also know how to get around them. Let me tell you a story about one of my favorite ways (See Idea Party below). I have a hundred of these stories, but I'll just tell one today.
In Memphis, Tennessee, a few years ago, I was running a workshop for public TV and, as I always do in the second half of those workshops, I asked for people to raise their hands and tell me some impossible dreams. A young woman in the front row raised her hand and said she had always wanted to run an animal refuge.
"What's your obstacle?" I asked. (That's what I always ask because it's a great way to stimulate good ideas.)
"I have no money, no land, no licenses or training or connections and I have no idea where to start," she said.
You'd think that might give me pause, but I've done so many Idea Parties I was pretty sure of what would happen next. And I have never done anything to get prepared in advance for any wish in any Idea Party ever, on Twitter, the telephone, at people's homes or in front of 1000 people at a workshop. It's never necessary. If you have ten or more people in the room, there's always a solution.
"Does anyone have any ideas?" I asked, and a woman two seats away waved her hand urgently, stood up and said, "My friend's mother has an animal refuge, she was recently injured and can't take care of it, she's desperate for someone to take it over, it won't cost you anything! She'll train you! She has the licenses, and the donors and everything!"
That's a true story.
But that wish seems a little uncharacteristic, doesn't it? Well, it's not. I've had similar things happen -- just regarding that one wish -- at least a dozen times. And don't get me started on the really hard wishes. That's another newsletter in itself.
Okay, that's my message. Once you figure out what you want, the rest is easy. I mean that. And I say that as someone who wasn't born rich. I was born good-looking.
So repeat after me: "I must do what I love. I do know what it is." (Or we can help you figure it out in 5 minutes). And yes, it is possible even if you aren't a positive thinker, can't create your own reality and frequently wake up grumpy. (My kind of people!)
I plan to nag you about this in future. I know I'll have to tell you again. That's okay with me.
Here are your audio tips.
I hope I get to meet you (or see you again**) this year.
Warmest Regards,
Barbara Sher
EVENTS
Idea Party Fundraiser
Saturday, March 12, 2011, 1:00-2:30pm ET Teleconference
Cost: $22.00
All proceeds benefit Himalayan Cultural Conservation, an organization near & dear to my heart.
I Could Do Anything, If I Only Knew What It Was
Friday, April 15 , 2011| Frankfurt, Germany
Live the Life You Love weekend workshop
Saturday & Sunday, April 16-17, 2011 | Frankfurt, Germany
Scanner Retreat in my favorite medieval village in France
April 23-28, 2011 | Tarn region of France
(Only 4 spaces left!)
Coaching Training Program with Frankfurter Ring
June 2011 - April 2012
**Ask me about special discounts if you've been to my retreats or workshops before.
Thank you for subscribing to my newsletter. I hope you'll join me on Facebook and Twitter. I'm always BarbaraSher. (It's way too late to change that one. :-)
Update Profile/Email Address | Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe™ | Privacy Policy.
Barbara Sher | Box 20052, Park West Station | New York | NY | 10025
Barbara Sher's Newsletter
March 9, 2011
Hi Friends,
If you haven't seen this video of mine on YouTube, I'd like you look at it now:
[Naw, they won't let me.]
[I'm not sure it's working. I'm getting alarming warnings. So head over to YouTube, search for Barbara Sher, and watch "What you love is what you are gifted at"
(Here's the rest of the newsletter:)
Barbara Sher: What You Love is What You Are Gifted At
The video is a little dark and not very fancy, but you can hear every word, it's under 2 minutes, and I'm not selling anything.
Today I was looking through some of the audios and videos I've saved from past workshops and retreats, looking for anything related to this subject because finding what you love, and finding a way to do it is the subject of the first month of a membership site I'm putting together, hopefully to launch a month or two down the road. (Maybe three.)
While I was checking the sound quality, I started listening to the words and realized that you should look at it, too. I know you've heard me say "You must do what you love," before, and I don't like to be repetitive, but I know too well that we all forget.
I won't rewrite the words on the video. Just go there. You won't hear one word about how you should treat yourself well, make yourself happy, put yourself first. It's not about that. It's about a debt you owe to the rest of us. Figuring out what you love is about the only way you're ever going to discover what you were born to do. When you enjoy doing something, that's nature trying to tell you who you are and what you're supposed to be doing.
And don't give me a hard time because you love doing too many things. You know where I stand on that one. If you don't, read Refuse to Choose aka: What Do I Do When I Want To Do Everything. Or head over to Genius Press and listen to the podcast. Or give yourself a treat and sign up while a few spaces are still open for what is probably my last Scanner Retreat. It's in France from April 23-28, 2011.
That's all I wanted to say. I know what I'm doing here: I'm here to get you to remember what you love, and to find practical ways for you to do it. How do I know what I'm doing here? Well, I've figured out what drive really is, and where it comes from, and how unique it is to each one of us. And I've seen over and over how it always answers that age-old question: What am I supposed to be doing on this planet? What will really satisfy and continue to interest me?
But that's for face-to-face and in-person as the grads of my retreats and workshops will tell you. I need to see you so I can ask questions and find out who you are. That's way too important for a quotable sentence or a newsletter sound bite.
But I'll tell you this much: drive isn't what they tell you. It's not something you decide to have if you've got enough character. You can't choose to have drive, and you don't have to. It's there. You just need to learn how to find it. Not so easy to do on your own. But this much you should know: it uses your gifts, the things you love and dream about. That's where you start and that's why going after your dream isn't an option, it's a responsibility. But gifts are only the vehicle. Drive itself is the fuel, and once you find that, you never ever run out of it.
That's why you must start by going after your dream. But, you've heard that before, right? What if you have too many obstacles? I happen to believe obstacles are mostly real, but I also know how to get around them. Let me tell you a story about one of my favorite ways (See Idea Party below). I have a hundred of these stories, but I'll just tell one today.
In Memphis, Tennessee, a few years ago, I was running a workshop for public TV and, as I always do in the second half of those workshops, I asked for people to raise their hands and tell me some impossible dreams. A young woman in the front row raised her hand and said she had always wanted to run an animal refuge.
"What's your obstacle?" I asked. (That's what I always ask because it's a great way to stimulate good ideas.)
"I have no money, no land, no licenses or training or connections and I have no idea where to start," she said.
You'd think that might give me pause, but I've done so many Idea Parties I was pretty sure of what would happen next. And I have never done anything to get prepared in advance for any wish in any Idea Party ever, on Twitter, the telephone, at people's homes or in front of 1000 people at a workshop. It's never necessary. If you have ten or more people in the room, there's always a solution.
"Does anyone have any ideas?" I asked, and a woman two seats away waved her hand urgently, stood up and said, "My friend's mother has an animal refuge, she was recently injured and can't take care of it, she's desperate for someone to take it over, it won't cost you anything! She'll train you! She has the licenses, and the donors and everything!"
That's a true story.
But that wish seems a little uncharacteristic, doesn't it? Well, it's not. I've had similar things happen -- just regarding that one wish -- at least a dozen times. And don't get me started on the really hard wishes. That's another newsletter in itself.
Okay, that's my message. Once you figure out what you want, the rest is easy. I mean that. And I say that as someone who wasn't born rich. I was born good-looking.
So repeat after me: "I must do what I love. I do know what it is." (Or we can help you figure it out in 5 minutes). And yes, it is possible even if you aren't a positive thinker, can't create your own reality and frequently wake up grumpy. (My kind of people!)
I plan to nag you about this in future. I know I'll have to tell you again. That's okay with me.
Here are your audio tips.
I hope I get to meet you (or see you again**) this year.
Warmest Regards,
Barbara Sher
EVENTS
Idea Party Fundraiser
Saturday, March 12, 2011, 1:00-2:30pm ET Teleconference
Cost: $22.00
All proceeds benefit Himalayan Cultural Conservation, an organization near & dear to my heart.
I Could Do Anything, If I Only Knew What It Was
Friday, April 15 , 2011| Frankfurt, Germany
Live the Life You Love weekend workshop
Saturday & Sunday, April 16-17, 2011 | Frankfurt, Germany
Scanner Retreat in my favorite medieval village in France
April 23-28, 2011 | Tarn region of France
(Only 4 spaces left!)
Coaching Training Program with Frankfurter Ring
June 2011 - April 2012
**Ask me about special discounts if you've been to my retreats or workshops before.
Thank you for subscribing to my newsletter. I hope you'll join me on Facebook and Twitter. I'm always BarbaraSher. (It's way too late to change that one. :-)
Update Profile/Email Address | Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe™ | Privacy Policy.
Barbara Sher | Box 20052, Park West Station | New York | NY | 10025
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Sometimes a chronic problem is really the solution to a worse problem.
You can battle a chronic problem forever, or you can sit down and figure out why it's hanging around and start from there.
On the first morning of one of my Big Cheap Weekend Workshops last year (not in New York, like the one coming up Nov 19 - and it wasn't called a Big Cheap Weekend either but it was the same thing exactly) we had a perfect illustration of that principle. A woman I'll call Hilary stood up and told us how her inability to lose weight was the obstacle to her dearest, most treasured dream. She told us that she had a good voice, that her teachers had all agreed and she knew there was nothing she loved as much as singing; that she did it at home, in private, as often as she could. Nothing made her happier. But taking lessons can only go so far, and Hilary had dodged every chance she'd gotten to actually perform on stage, in front of a live audience. She explained that she couldn't get on the stage unless she looked better, and her attempts to diet had the usual results.
'If I get up on a stage looking like this all I'll be able to think about is how awful I look, and how people must be laughing at me, and I won't be able to sing a note.'
Now there are a lot of reasons people aren't slim, and there might be a lot of reasons they shouldn't be slim. Who knows what's health and what's fashion when advice changes every few years. But the point is she felt she couldn't sing if she didn't lose weight, and she couldn't lose weight. And I didn't want to send her home with the same 'blame the victim' advice she'd clearly gotten from friends and teachers and diet coaches, which was: 'Well, if you want it enough, you'll lose the weight.'
First of all, I don't think that's necessarily true at all. Sometimes when you want something too much, you stop yourself from getting it. Second, I don't like that kind of advice. People too often blame the victim when they feel unable to help her. She said she couldn't seem to lose weight, and I believed her. Instead, here's what I told her.
'Sing fat. Don't lose weight. Give that up. You want to sing, so you have to sing. Book a date wherever someone will let you sing, wear black, look gorgeous above the neck and below the hemline, and get up there and sing your heart out.
'If the weight is protecting you from some danger involved in singing -- maybe going back to your childhood -- and you sing, the weight might give up and just go away and you'll lose it without working at it. And if it doesn't go away, who cares? You're singing!'
What happened then only happens in a workshop. Someone raised his hand and said he had a piano club in a nearby suburb and she was welcome to come sing that night. There were always very good amateur pianists who could accompany her. You could feel the excitement start building in the room.
'I don't have the clothes or the makeup...' she stammered.
Just like every Idea Party in every workshop, when people heard the sincerity of her wish, and the clarity of that particular obstacle, they stepped forward. One woman who lived nearby had a 'shiny' black dress she knew would fit Hilary. A makeup artist stepped forward but didn't have her materials. A glamorous woman standing next to her handed her a bag packed with makeup. One woman held up a spectacular pair of green, glittered shoes and shouted 'What's your shoe size?'
Everyone else wanted the address so they could hear her sing that night after the workshop ended. Rides were set up. She was to sing in 3 hours. (I think if she'd had more time it would have actually been harder -- or she'd have fainted.)
It worked. I couldn't be there but the reports were glowing. She got up on stage, lost her voice for about 5 seconds, ran her hands down her sides and the slippery black dress (which fit perfectly) and started to sing. Her first song was very nice and everyone applauded. Her second, and every one after that, was spectacular. People in the audience were crying.
She wrote us all a few months later in our email group. She said she sings regularly now, and she has lost some weight, but she'll never be as slim as she thought she had to be. And it doesn't make a bit of difference. People love her singing. And she loves to sing.
Try it yourself with any chronic problem. Any sentences that go like this: "If I could only do x, I'd be able to do what I really want to do. But I keep trying and can never do x." This method doesn't always work as well as it did with Hilary, but something good always comes of it. If she'd been on her own and booked a performance date and gotten ready for it, she could have raised her danger level so high that it would reveal itself and she'd have discovered what she was really dealing with.
I once had a client who continually sabotaged her singing career in a different way. She sang professionally, everyone loved working with her and called her in for jobs, but she always stayed just under the radar, never broke through the way she wanted to. Her chronic problem: smoking.
'It's totally crazy that I smoke. I stop when there are no gigs on the horizon, but I start again when I get hired for something!' We discovered it was because her mother, a wonderful singer, stopped singing after a family tragedy that occurred when the client was only 9. Every time the client got close to singing with everything she had inside her, she got terrified and we found she was afraid of feeling the grief of that child she was so long ago. She always dodged the grief by smoking, which hadn't yet hurt her voice, but was her way of not giving her whole self to her performing. But that was when she didn't understand what it was. When she realized it was grief, she let the 9-year old inside her have a real cry. And when the tears stopped, the fear was gone. So was the need to smoke. Her singing career took off big time.
(Her mother started singing again too! But that's another story.)
On the first morning of one of my Big Cheap Weekend Workshops last year (not in New York, like the one coming up Nov 19 - and it wasn't called a Big Cheap Weekend either but it was the same thing exactly) we had a perfect illustration of that principle. A woman I'll call Hilary stood up and told us how her inability to lose weight was the obstacle to her dearest, most treasured dream. She told us that she had a good voice, that her teachers had all agreed and she knew there was nothing she loved as much as singing; that she did it at home, in private, as often as she could. Nothing made her happier. But taking lessons can only go so far, and Hilary had dodged every chance she'd gotten to actually perform on stage, in front of a live audience. She explained that she couldn't get on the stage unless she looked better, and her attempts to diet had the usual results.
'If I get up on a stage looking like this all I'll be able to think about is how awful I look, and how people must be laughing at me, and I won't be able to sing a note.'
Now there are a lot of reasons people aren't slim, and there might be a lot of reasons they shouldn't be slim. Who knows what's health and what's fashion when advice changes every few years. But the point is she felt she couldn't sing if she didn't lose weight, and she couldn't lose weight. And I didn't want to send her home with the same 'blame the victim' advice she'd clearly gotten from friends and teachers and diet coaches, which was: 'Well, if you want it enough, you'll lose the weight.'
First of all, I don't think that's necessarily true at all. Sometimes when you want something too much, you stop yourself from getting it. Second, I don't like that kind of advice. People too often blame the victim when they feel unable to help her. She said she couldn't seem to lose weight, and I believed her. Instead, here's what I told her.
'Sing fat. Don't lose weight. Give that up. You want to sing, so you have to sing. Book a date wherever someone will let you sing, wear black, look gorgeous above the neck and below the hemline, and get up there and sing your heart out.
'If the weight is protecting you from some danger involved in singing -- maybe going back to your childhood -- and you sing, the weight might give up and just go away and you'll lose it without working at it. And if it doesn't go away, who cares? You're singing!'
What happened then only happens in a workshop. Someone raised his hand and said he had a piano club in a nearby suburb and she was welcome to come sing that night. There were always very good amateur pianists who could accompany her. You could feel the excitement start building in the room.
'I don't have the clothes or the makeup...' she stammered.
Just like every Idea Party in every workshop, when people heard the sincerity of her wish, and the clarity of that particular obstacle, they stepped forward. One woman who lived nearby had a 'shiny' black dress she knew would fit Hilary. A makeup artist stepped forward but didn't have her materials. A glamorous woman standing next to her handed her a bag packed with makeup. One woman held up a spectacular pair of green, glittered shoes and shouted 'What's your shoe size?'
Everyone else wanted the address so they could hear her sing that night after the workshop ended. Rides were set up. She was to sing in 3 hours. (I think if she'd had more time it would have actually been harder -- or she'd have fainted.)
It worked. I couldn't be there but the reports were glowing. She got up on stage, lost her voice for about 5 seconds, ran her hands down her sides and the slippery black dress (which fit perfectly) and started to sing. Her first song was very nice and everyone applauded. Her second, and every one after that, was spectacular. People in the audience were crying.
She wrote us all a few months later in our email group. She said she sings regularly now, and she has lost some weight, but she'll never be as slim as she thought she had to be. And it doesn't make a bit of difference. People love her singing. And she loves to sing.
Try it yourself with any chronic problem. Any sentences that go like this: "If I could only do x, I'd be able to do what I really want to do. But I keep trying and can never do x." This method doesn't always work as well as it did with Hilary, but something good always comes of it. If she'd been on her own and booked a performance date and gotten ready for it, she could have raised her danger level so high that it would reveal itself and she'd have discovered what she was really dealing with.
I once had a client who continually sabotaged her singing career in a different way. She sang professionally, everyone loved working with her and called her in for jobs, but she always stayed just under the radar, never broke through the way she wanted to. Her chronic problem: smoking.
'It's totally crazy that I smoke. I stop when there are no gigs on the horizon, but I start again when I get hired for something!' We discovered it was because her mother, a wonderful singer, stopped singing after a family tragedy that occurred when the client was only 9. Every time the client got close to singing with everything she had inside her, she got terrified and we found she was afraid of feeling the grief of that child she was so long ago. She always dodged the grief by smoking, which hadn't yet hurt her voice, but was her way of not giving her whole self to her performing. But that was when she didn't understand what it was. When she realized it was grief, she let the 9-year old inside her have a real cry. And when the tears stopped, the fear was gone. So was the need to smoke. Her singing career took off big time.
(Her mother started singing again too! But that's another story.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
