Monty Roberts is my hero.
When someone at one of my WriteSpeak retreats in 2009 called me the Resistance Whisperer I loved it and I knew there was truth in it. I learned everything I know about resistance the same way Monty Roberts learned what really goes on with horses: I watched for a very long time, with complete attention and deep respect. I trusted 'what is' and not what my culture told me 'should be.'
He knew horses didn't need to be 'broken,' and proved he was right. I know that overcoming resistance has nothing to do with will power and I prove I'm right every time I run a Resistance Workshop.
History of Resistance Workshops done on the telephone.
It all began with a plan to do one telephone workshop on July 20. (I had August set aside to write the proposal for my next book.) But the people who were supposed to be running it used some kind of new recording devices, and didn't expect over 150 people to pour in, so we had a a fine disaster the night of July 20, 2013.
I gave rain checks to everyone, told them to do their best to get refunds, and if they couldn't, they'd get the teleworkshop for free. Throughout August, I wrote everyone and answered all emails, trying to straighten everything out. Everyone I corresponded with was just terrific. They put in a lot of effort trying to get their refunds but most people never got them. In fact, only 1 person got a refund for sure and I think that was a mistake.The people who didn't deliver the workshop I had promised kept all the money.
You don't spend decades working in a way that lets people know they can trust you and allow that kind of situation to stand, so even though it ate up all of August (I'm only starting to write my book proposal this week - and that's not an excuse! :-)) I'm actually glad it happened. I got to know a lot of great people. It was more satisfying than I ever expected. It was a lot of work, but I'm glad it happened.
I wrote and answered personally a lot of emails and then, on the last day of August and twice in September, with the deft help of my Hero Techie, Patty Newbold, I ran 3 Telephone Workshops to deliver what I had promised. I think the general consensus was that I delivered.
How these telephone workshops work:
First we announce the date of the next Resistance Teleclass in a newsletter. If you're not on my mailing list, head over to http://www.geniuspress.com and you'll see the sign up place on the bottom of the home page.
You can also head over to www.barbarasclub.com/courses right now and you'll know whatever you need to before I write up the announcement.
Then you sign up and get the address of the teleclass's private page for that date. There you'll find the instructions for what number to call, access codes, and a place to ask questions and leave comments. You can call in for free from anywhere in the world with Skype.
On the right date, you call that number and so do I, and we have our two-hour TeleWorkshop. If you can't join us, the recording is posted on the same page, usually in less than an hour, and available to you for 90 days.
For about 45 minutes or an hour I talk about Resistance and explain a very different (and waaay better) theory than any other I know of. It's impossible to be modest. Getting this knowledge has taken decades of experience. Learning to distinguish between what sounds good in theory and what actually works, is what matters.
And then, when I'm through with the lecture, we go to work on resistance problems.
That's when the fun begins. The rest of the 2-hour session is taken up with understanding and solving individual problems.
I love it. People have different versions of where and when they resist doing things they long to do. Their stories are fascinating. I ask questions, we talk, and I can hear people in the background quietly responding (occasionally sniffling) because they're getting eye-openers too. I ask for more questions, get great ones, and talk to as many people as I can.
What happens to the people who didn't have time to talk or ask their questions? During or after the teleclass, they head over to that private page and start asking their questions (or offering great answers and information to people they had listened to) by writing their comments.
Because when this workshop is over, it ain't over.
After we all hang up, I head over to those comments and for the next few days I do my best to answer them.
And what about the people who couldn't attend? Or did attend but want to hear the whole thing again? Within an hour, Patty makes sure the recording is up and ready to listen to on that same page.
It's great technology. When I was your age we had to shout out the window! :-) (Sorry about that. I couldn't resist.)
I just finished answering the comments from last night a few hours ago and I'm heading back to see if there are any more that just showed up. I want those questions. They remind me to talk about what I've learned but otherwise wouldn't have included. They help me think even more deeply about new aspects of this huge problem called Resistance. And, like all good questions, they pull new information into the mix from everyone in the group. (Last night Patty told one of the attendees who longed to travel, but couldn't even manage to find a good-enough non-travel job, about a perfect job she'd learned about years ago. It took the person's breath away, and ours too. She's getting ready to contact the right people today.)
Did I say 'Isolation is the dream killer,' yet?
As far as I'm concerned, that beats the hell out of 'Just try harder,' or 'Build your will power!' or 'Sit down and do it!'
When will we get it that those things never worked? Even athletes, who may be the hardest working, most 'disciplined' models of 'never stop trying,' have coaches to get them out of bed and on the track (and make sure they're doing things the right way).
As some anonymous wise person has reminded us, even the Lone Ranger had Tonto.
Isolation is the dream killer, folks. Don't do it yourself anymore. Time is not endless and dreams are important.
I have one more Resistance TeleWorkshop planned: January 12 of 1914. You can head over to www.barbarasclub.com/courses and check it out.
(After that I really have to get to work on that book proposal.)